Feeling Helpless?

How I'm Dealing With My Feelings

I’ve been missing from my blogs and writing here for a couple of weeks. It might sound funny to you, but all the way in India, I was deeply affected by the results of the US elections. I have family in the US, and sorry to say, many of them have been Team Trump, so that’s not what upset me.

What upset me was the pattern of vile, trash talking, corrupt, evil men winning elections continues. It’s been happening in India and I was praying that it wouldn’t happen again in the US, but it did. I chose to say men, although they are supported by women too who are happy to let patriarchy win. In the name of religion, Hinduism in India and Christianity in the US, all manner of hell is being let loose on women, minorities, immigrants and others. Attacks on people based on religion, colour, caste, gender and economic status have become passé. Both countries have packed their Supreme Courts with judges who favour these kind of biases. Both countries are openly supporting the evil that is being perpetuated against the people of Palestine.

The results made me feel helpless and hopeless. I questioned the future of the world. I wondered how so many people will survive this onslaught of evil. What are we teaching the next generation?

And this made me feel small and useless especially as a writer. Yes, I know I matter to the significant people (and dogs) in my life. But beyond that? What difference will my writing make to anyone?

I sat with my feelings of helplessness and hopelessness. I would pop in here from time to time and read the words of the writers I follow - all strong, positive, encouraging people. I tried to stay on my theme for the month - focus on the little things - and joining Sarah E. Westfall - in The Liturgy of The Little Things on Instagram (@corinneblogs). It didn’t help that both José and I fell ill.

I realized that I’m so privileged - no one is attacking me for my religion (yet), or attempting to deport me, or taking away my rights as a woman, or stopping my access to medication/ hospitalization. I don’t have a job under threat, we’re financially secure, have a roof (or two) over our heads and medical insurance. We have the time, space and access to do what we want. And still I feel this way? I can’t even begin to imagine how those under direct threat feel.

How To Move Forward?

I really have no answers for anyone else. For me, I’m journaling, watching movies, reading and reviewing books, writing most Wednesdays with a group of lovely women online, walking the dog, cooking, staying off Twitter as much as possible and generally keeping myself busy.

But that is not enough. I must continue to write. I must share my feelings authentically. This is what I am meant to be doing and I must show up bravely here and on my blogs. I must find ways to reach out to others and encourage them as much as I can with my words and actions.

Today, I decided to push myself out of these feelings. I published a post on my blog - completing something that’s been lying as an unfinished draft for ages. I tried out a new dish (Kerala style egg curry, if you’re interested). And I’m writing this….

Thank you, dear reader, for being a part of my life. You make a difference to me. ♥

Let us hold each other up!

Corinne

Love List

Listening to Hold Each Other Up

Grateful to Nadia Colburn for sharing a poem by Rumi, which I’ve shared in part here.

Cry out! Don't be solid and silent
with your pain. Lament! And let the milk
of loving flow into you. 

The hard rain and wind
are ways the cloud has
to take care of us. 

Be patient.
Respond to every call
that excites your spirit. 

Ignore those that make you fearful
and sad, that degrade you,
back toward disease and death.

(Extracted from “Cry Out in Your Weakness” by Rumi
From The Essential Rumi translated by Coleman Barks)