Heavy. That's how I feel right now, watching the world as we know it seemingly disintegrate. While many countries around the world are slowly limping back to normal, trying to recover from the pandemic, India is seeing absolute chaos - death and suffering that I've never seen in my life time. The other night, I was forced to write 'What is the remedy?' as I felt so helpless.
I think of Mary Oliver's poem, which seems so appropriate at this time. It describes the process of healing from grief so beautifully. (Today happens to be 3 months since we lost our Pablo and I can identify with this so much).
Heavy
Mary Oliver
That time
I thought I could not
go any closer to grief
without dying
I went closer,
and I did not die.
Surely God
had his hand in this,
as well as friends.
Still, I was bent,
and my laughter,
as the poet said,
was nowhere to be found.
Then said my friend Daniel,
(brave even among lions),
“It’s not the weight you carry
but how you carry it–
books, bricks, grief–
it’s all in the way
you embrace it, balance it, carry it
when you cannot, and would not,
put it down.”
So I went practicing.
Have you noticed?
Have you heard
the laughter
that comes, now and again,
out of my startled mouth?
How I linger
to admire, admire, admire
the things of this world
that are kind, and maybe
also troubled –
roses in the wind,
the sea geese on the steep waves,
a love
to which there is no reply?
Ironically, today is World Laughter Day. Despite everything, I still vouch for the value of laughter and am trying hard to find things to laugh at. Pets, always help. As do funny animal videos.
We're keeping safe, restricting our outings to only necessary ones and masking up each time we step out. I do go to my studio at least four times a week, but since there's no one around and I don't have to interact with anyone, it's safe. We've also had our first shot of the vaccine and keeping our fingers crossed that we can get the second shot in time. We delayed briefly before we decided to go ahead and get the shot. Have you taken the vaccine?
What are you reading right now? One of the books I'm reading at present is Alan Cohen's Linden's Last Life. I bought the book quite a few years ago and only got down to reading it last week. I've been reading and reviewing a lot of fiction too. So looking forward to Modern Mrs Darcy's 2021 Summer Reading Guide. Her recommendations are always fabulous.
I apologize for the long gap between my newsletters, but I'm hoping to be more regular now as I'm trying out a new way of working. More about that in two weeks time. Until then, remember this:
